I think it's safe to say that I've begun my birthing time. This HypnoBabies thing really works, as it is easy and so comfortable so far! My pressure waves (aka contractions) simply feel like waves of pressure radiating from my uterus to my back. I can feel my cervis dilating and the pressure of baby's head gently moving down into my pelvis.
I feel very calm and peaceful - it's almost surreal! I've kept asking myself, is this really happening? Baby has been more active as the pressure waves gently squeeze and massage her.
Last night I had a bit of emotional meltdown - as I realized I was placing a time limit on myself and my birthing by telling people the status of things. From now on I will not be sharing how things are progressing - I want to stay centered and balance in my birthing time. "My job is to simply relax and allow my baby's birth to happen" - one of my favorite quotes from the HypnoBabies tracks.
"My body knows how to give birth" "I will birth beautifully, calmy and peacefully"
I do feel very relaxed and am looking forward to giving birth with confidence.
I am so thankful that God has designed my body to do this and that it is gradually preparing for baby's birth.
Today I have few errands left to run and then I'll be settling in for a nice, relaxing weekend of patiently cooperating with my body during this birthing time.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Checkup with the doctor
I had my 38.5 week checkup with the doctor yesterday and received some exciting news - I am 3 centimeters dilated, my cervix is 70% effaced (or thinned out) and the baby is at -1 station. He encouraged me to take some time with Wes this weekend as it will likely be the last weekend we have as a couple before we become a family. :)
Dr. Tsang clarified what a contraction would feel like - starting with firmness in my abdomen that radiates around to my lower back, where I would feel like I'm constipated. This description helped and I've noticed a few since then. Again, nothing regular.
I've begun to dream the last few nights about giving birth - with last night's dream so vivid that I thought I might actually send myself into my birthing time!
I listened to my birthing day affirmations cd while falling asleep and was so excited about the changes taking place that I didn't fall asleep very easily.
Wes and I have walked everynight for the past few nights and I went and walked 1 mile this morning around Hidden Lake. I feel ready and confident for my daughter's birth and am so thrilled that I finally get to meet her! I'm hoping for this weekend, but know that God's timing is better than my own. While I do have some discomfort - mainly pressure on my symphsis pubis, I am truly anticipating her arrival purely for the sake of the joy.
On another note, I found a group of moms here in Tracy who meet to run a few times each week on meetup.com and I was invited to meet them this morning. (You have to be invited and approved to join the group) So I met up with a few of the women at Tioga Park in Hidden Lakes and got the run-down of how everything works. They meet Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays to run and take turns watching one another's children so the other moms can run. They seem like nice people and I am eager to join them once I can run again! This morning I chose to walk(some may say waddle - haha) the 1 mile loop and then I left. These women do races together sometimes and each person can run at their own pace or with a partner. What motivation to get running again after baby is born!
My final thought is that I'm going to begin reading the book "WEiRD", which some people from our church are going through. They'll be doing a 6 week book study, which we cannot commit to of course, but we'll do a study on our own. Since I'll be reading it on my Kindle I figured I'd blog about my thoughts and reflections here, in addition to documenting my experience as a new momma. So that'll give the blog some direction for awhile. Lots going on!
Dr. Tsang clarified what a contraction would feel like - starting with firmness in my abdomen that radiates around to my lower back, where I would feel like I'm constipated. This description helped and I've noticed a few since then. Again, nothing regular.
I've begun to dream the last few nights about giving birth - with last night's dream so vivid that I thought I might actually send myself into my birthing time!
I listened to my birthing day affirmations cd while falling asleep and was so excited about the changes taking place that I didn't fall asleep very easily.
Wes and I have walked everynight for the past few nights and I went and walked 1 mile this morning around Hidden Lake. I feel ready and confident for my daughter's birth and am so thrilled that I finally get to meet her! I'm hoping for this weekend, but know that God's timing is better than my own. While I do have some discomfort - mainly pressure on my symphsis pubis, I am truly anticipating her arrival purely for the sake of the joy.
On another note, I found a group of moms here in Tracy who meet to run a few times each week on meetup.com and I was invited to meet them this morning. (You have to be invited and approved to join the group) So I met up with a few of the women at Tioga Park in Hidden Lakes and got the run-down of how everything works. They meet Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays to run and take turns watching one another's children so the other moms can run. They seem like nice people and I am eager to join them once I can run again! This morning I chose to walk(some may say waddle - haha) the 1 mile loop and then I left. These women do races together sometimes and each person can run at their own pace or with a partner. What motivation to get running again after baby is born!
My final thought is that I'm going to begin reading the book "WEiRD", which some people from our church are going through. They'll be doing a 6 week book study, which we cannot commit to of course, but we'll do a study on our own. Since I'll be reading it on my Kindle I figured I'd blog about my thoughts and reflections here, in addition to documenting my experience as a new momma. So that'll give the blog some direction for awhile. Lots going on!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Preliminary birthing signs
Continuing the countdown and praying that our daughter will come in God's perfect timing...
This past week I've experienced some preliminary signs of birthing as I feel my body changing. About two weeks ago I began to experience some contractions aka birthing waves, which started as aches in my lower back and then lead to what felt like low menstrual cramps in my pelvis. These began the night before we drove to San Francisco airport to visit Wes' sister and her family. I was a bit nervous with that long drive, but told myself that my mind is in control of my body and that I was not going to start my birthing time on that drive...and I didn't!
Since then there have been similar experiences, but nothing regular. Earlier this week after purposefully practicing some induction techniques (walking and...ahem..time with my hubby ;) ) I developed a deep peace and feeling of 'readiness' as well as had my 'nesting instinct' kick in yesterday with a burst of energy and getting a lot of errands done. I also felt some random 'drips' and wondered if perhaps there is a leak in my amniotic sac.
I checked with the nurses at the hospital to verify that my Group B strep test was negative, which it was, and since have not had the feeling of leaking any further.
Today I just rested and relaxed for most of the day, feeling my daughter sink even lower into my pelvis, though no regular birthing waves have come.
I intend to begin listening to my birthing day affirmations tonight as I go to sleep and trust that my body and baby will do what they need to in their own perfect time. After all, once of my favorite sayings is "My job is to simply relax and allow my baby's birth to happen"
I can only give praise to the Lord for this wonderful pregnancy, for designing my body to work perfectly while He alone has formed my daughter, inside and out. I look forward to my birthing time with confidence and assurance that God will guide me through and my body was made for this!
This past week I've experienced some preliminary signs of birthing as I feel my body changing. About two weeks ago I began to experience some contractions aka birthing waves, which started as aches in my lower back and then lead to what felt like low menstrual cramps in my pelvis. These began the night before we drove to San Francisco airport to visit Wes' sister and her family. I was a bit nervous with that long drive, but told myself that my mind is in control of my body and that I was not going to start my birthing time on that drive...and I didn't!
Since then there have been similar experiences, but nothing regular. Earlier this week after purposefully practicing some induction techniques (walking and...ahem..time with my hubby ;) ) I developed a deep peace and feeling of 'readiness' as well as had my 'nesting instinct' kick in yesterday with a burst of energy and getting a lot of errands done. I also felt some random 'drips' and wondered if perhaps there is a leak in my amniotic sac.
I checked with the nurses at the hospital to verify that my Group B strep test was negative, which it was, and since have not had the feeling of leaking any further.
Today I just rested and relaxed for most of the day, feeling my daughter sink even lower into my pelvis, though no regular birthing waves have come.
I intend to begin listening to my birthing day affirmations tonight as I go to sleep and trust that my body and baby will do what they need to in their own perfect time. After all, once of my favorite sayings is "My job is to simply relax and allow my baby's birth to happen"
I can only give praise to the Lord for this wonderful pregnancy, for designing my body to work perfectly while He alone has formed my daughter, inside and out. I look forward to my birthing time with confidence and assurance that God will guide me through and my body was made for this!
Monday, July 25, 2011
11 day countdown
With 11 days to go until my daughter's due date, I figured now would be a good time to get back into journaling/blogging..if only to record how I'm feeling and how things are going before life changes forever.
Overall this pregnancy has been such a blessing. I have had extremely good health and excellent results with my weight gain, blood pressure, etc. My daughter has continued to grow strong and I love hearing her heartbeat at each doctor's appointment. Her movements are more limited now, as she's in much closer quarters and taking up all of that space. I can hardly wait to meet her!
I've been so blessed that I've been able to stay home and rest and prepare for her birth. Her nursery is ready as is her bathtub and also bassinet in our bedroom. I can't say that there was a certain point when I felt "ready" for her arrival, but I can say that I have such a deep peace and confidence for the upcoming delivery and start of our new lifestyle. I don't feel nervous per se, but am eagerly anticipating bringing her home and caring for her needs..outside of my body. ;)
I look forward to getting to know her little personality, her facial expressions, what her tastes are like, and her schedule. I am so in love with her already and I get choked up thinking about the first time I'll get to see her outside of me. I can only imagine myself crying and being overwhelmed with love.
As far as becoming a mother, I can only rely on God's strength to prepare me and get me through each day. She is, after all, His creation - He knows her inside and out as He is the one who formed her physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He knows her heart and what will become her passions. I can only press into Him and ask for His guidance in raising her. I so desire for her to be fully restored as His child and live in His abundance. I must surrender her into His hands, even now before she is born, and remember that she belongs to Him.
Overall this pregnancy has been such a blessing. I have had extremely good health and excellent results with my weight gain, blood pressure, etc. My daughter has continued to grow strong and I love hearing her heartbeat at each doctor's appointment. Her movements are more limited now, as she's in much closer quarters and taking up all of that space. I can hardly wait to meet her!
I've been so blessed that I've been able to stay home and rest and prepare for her birth. Her nursery is ready as is her bathtub and also bassinet in our bedroom. I can't say that there was a certain point when I felt "ready" for her arrival, but I can say that I have such a deep peace and confidence for the upcoming delivery and start of our new lifestyle. I don't feel nervous per se, but am eagerly anticipating bringing her home and caring for her needs..outside of my body. ;)
I look forward to getting to know her little personality, her facial expressions, what her tastes are like, and her schedule. I am so in love with her already and I get choked up thinking about the first time I'll get to see her outside of me. I can only imagine myself crying and being overwhelmed with love.
As far as becoming a mother, I can only rely on God's strength to prepare me and get me through each day. She is, after all, His creation - He knows her inside and out as He is the one who formed her physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He knows her heart and what will become her passions. I can only press into Him and ask for His guidance in raising her. I so desire for her to be fully restored as His child and live in His abundance. I must surrender her into His hands, even now before she is born, and remember that she belongs to Him.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Pondering relationships...
So, I've been pondering the concept of relationships for quite some time now - more so these last few months after moving away from the place I've called home for 27 years of my life. Distance truly shows a relationship for what it is. Those who want to have relationship with you will keep in contact and I with them. Others fall by the way-side. One only has so much time, energy and resources to invest into relationships, thus limiting how many relationships one has. Of course they range from acquaintances to kindred souls.
Today I read a quote that I am applying even more so to my pondering - "You can NEVER please EVERYONE but you CAN please God."
Here's some background - There are some in my life with whom I am expected to have relationship, some familial and some in other areas, however I have found myself frustrated when I try to invest in those so-called "relationships" and there is no reciprocation. What I refer to in "investing" ranges from texts, Facebook messages or e-mails, phone calls, giving gifts for birthdays or Christmas, invitations to events, etc.
When I do these things and receive no response or reciprocation I wonder, why do I even bother? If so-and-so doesn't want to invest in a relationship with me, then why do I even try?
This question comes up more so with those that I am "expected" or "obligated" to have relationship with. To take that a step further, I have found myself wondering why on earth anyone would want to be in a relationship by "obligation" and is that truly even worthy of considering a relationship?
Of course there are people in one's life, an extended family member or so, who you may occasionally come into contact with and, out of family obligation, are polite and endure a conversation; however that is not the relationship to which I am referring.
As we start our new little family with the expected birth of our first child in just a few short months, I've begun to analyze my relationships and who will or will not be in relationship with us and our child. In our own family the relationships vary so greatly. My husband's father and brother, who both live in Texas, his mother, who lives in Illinois, my mother, who lives in Oregon, as does one of my brothers, and then the remainder of my immediate family live 5 driving hours away. Two of my cousins were like brothers to me growing up and we have stayed close, while the cousins on the other side of my family I hardly know and have exchanged less than 50 words with in the last 5 years combined. Parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, step-cousins, step-siblings - there are so many people who are in our lives, all with varying degrees of closeness.
Honestly my heart wants to spend time, energy, and money on and with those with whom I am close and have a valuable relationship.
So, since I can NEVER please EVERYONE, including those who expect me to have relationships with those that I'm "supposed to", what is my responsibility and how do I please God ALONE in my relationships?
Today I read a quote that I am applying even more so to my pondering - "You can NEVER please EVERYONE but you CAN please God."
Here's some background - There are some in my life with whom I am expected to have relationship, some familial and some in other areas, however I have found myself frustrated when I try to invest in those so-called "relationships" and there is no reciprocation. What I refer to in "investing" ranges from texts, Facebook messages or e-mails, phone calls, giving gifts for birthdays or Christmas, invitations to events, etc.
When I do these things and receive no response or reciprocation I wonder, why do I even bother? If so-and-so doesn't want to invest in a relationship with me, then why do I even try?
This question comes up more so with those that I am "expected" or "obligated" to have relationship with. To take that a step further, I have found myself wondering why on earth anyone would want to be in a relationship by "obligation" and is that truly even worthy of considering a relationship?
Of course there are people in one's life, an extended family member or so, who you may occasionally come into contact with and, out of family obligation, are polite and endure a conversation; however that is not the relationship to which I am referring.
As we start our new little family with the expected birth of our first child in just a few short months, I've begun to analyze my relationships and who will or will not be in relationship with us and our child. In our own family the relationships vary so greatly. My husband's father and brother, who both live in Texas, his mother, who lives in Illinois, my mother, who lives in Oregon, as does one of my brothers, and then the remainder of my immediate family live 5 driving hours away. Two of my cousins were like brothers to me growing up and we have stayed close, while the cousins on the other side of my family I hardly know and have exchanged less than 50 words with in the last 5 years combined. Parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, step-cousins, step-siblings - there are so many people who are in our lives, all with varying degrees of closeness.
Honestly my heart wants to spend time, energy, and money on and with those with whom I am close and have a valuable relationship.
So, since I can NEVER please EVERYONE, including those who expect me to have relationships with those that I'm "supposed to", what is my responsibility and how do I please God ALONE in my relationships?
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