Confirmed lentil bean status - 6 weeks in, 34 (or so) to go!
Today we decided to announce our pregnancy to family members - this included parents and siblings. Hooray! What a relief to share this blessed news with loved ones! Now I can actually talk to a few people about our excitement, how queasy I feel, and so on.
Today was also a big day in that we discussed whether we want a hospital or home birth - Yowza! BIG DECISIONS! Being our last [planned] pregnancy and birth, this is pretty big deal and our last shot. We are both very open to the idea of a home birth, but also nervous. We like the idea, but there are plenty of questions and uncertainties that come with it. The biggest being - what happens in an emergency?!
We're looking into it anyways...
Our first birthing experience was pretty incredible and smooth with zero complications. However there were those annoyances and things we didn't want that had to happen because we gave birth at the hospital. They insisted I have an IV - yuck! Which led to swollen "cankles" afterwards that made me cry (hormones). And there was the nurse when we were first admitted that totally disturbed my focus, insisting that "I" had to be the one to answer a gazillion questions that I had already answered when I pre-registered. Thankfully that woman's shift was almost over and we then had a God-send of a nurse named Toby who helped more than anyone for me to have the natural birth that I wanted.
But there were those other nurses that questioned whether my doctor would "allow" me to deliver the baby in the squatting position that felt most comfortable to me. Crazy ladies. I. didn't. care.
And that silliness of trying to keep that waistband around me to monitor baby's heartbeat while I was moving around, changing positions, trying to twist around in that tangled mess of an IV cord...ah yes. Those memories were not ideal.
The concept of going into labor and not having to worry about traveling anywhere, being able to eat and drink what I want when I want, sleep in my comfortable bed or couch or wherever I feel like it, move around in positions that feel comfortable to me - whether on a giant exercise ball, in a tub, or wherever, and give birth myself, pulling out my baby with my own two hands, having loved ones around me, with the lights on or off, music I want...yep. That sounds good to me! Oh! And in my own comfortable clothes!
Yes there are questions that need to be answered. We'll find out soon enough! Yes, we may end up choosing another hospital birth - annoyances and all, but we'll see!
Other than that I'm feeling about the same. Slept better last night. Trying to decide whether to fore-go my upcoming half-marathon or not. *Sigh* Another decision!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
Sesame Seed vs. Lentil
Day 43
I've decided that I'd like to document my experience through this round and hope to look back and appreciate the season, though it may have unpleasantries in the midst.
This morning revealed the second positive after yesterday morning. These coupled with all I am experiencing confirms that I am definitely growing a seed, though the size is debatable. One website ensures 5 weeks, the size of a sesame seed, while another says 6 - the size of a lentil. That is pretty big difference if you check them out! (that teeny tiny white speck in her hand? that is a sesame seed)
Either way I am excited to read about and revisit these feelings, even more aware since the last time as I kind of know what to expect and definitely understand my body more. Last week, on Monday and Tuesday I had some brown spots, which I assumed was my cycle starting, but then stopped. That's weird! But now that I read back it turns out that it was more likely implantation! And a strong one at that - you strong little seed!
This past weekend I was so tired every night, feeling like an old lady wanting to be in bed before 8pm. I skipped out on my Sunday morning long run (oops!) but so appreciated the sleeping in!
Follow that by my bought of dizziness the last few nights coupled with an unsettled stomach and soreness when Bunny nurses and ta-da! We plunked down the over $15 (what!?! I know! so pricey, but they've really got us! what else are we supposed to do?) and risked the potential disappointment of another negative month.
But nope! Two positives, insomnia (which is how I'm miraculously finding time to blog!), queasiness, dizziness, some cramping - ah. The sensations of a first trimester are strong with this one.
But all in all these signs are AWESOME! Just confirms that I'm growing a human and all is well! These are good, even though they feel...off.
That said, we haven't told anyone! Yesterday was seriously the longest day of my life - not telling my sister, my family, my friends who I saw yesterday! I just want to shout it from the rooftops! Even my hubby wanted to tell his friends at work (and he's not an open-share kind of guy!). We are just totally stoked and totally freaking out at the same time. That feeling of what have we done!? is there for sure.
Adding another person to our family is a crazy big step - it's going to be a life-changer for our daughter. But I want her to feel that this is hers to grow into and celebrate with us. As much as I want to share about how little seed is growing with my husband, I need to share with her.
So we watched a little video yesterday about the egg being fertilized and implanting and what little seed looks like right now. We got out a sesame seed and she held it and we talked about it. I wasn't sure what all she would "get" as a child with only 30 months experience in this world, but last night as we laid in bed and she was having her milkies before we said goodnight, she starting rubbing my stomach and talking to her little sister or brother inside. She knows someone is in there, growing, and will one day come out.
Most likely before Halloween. To which she is considering whether she and little seed will be Rapunzel and Pascal, or Queen Elsa and Olaf....choices choices.
Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! What an answer to our prayers - God is so good always. And we are so loved. Always.
I've decided that I'd like to document my experience through this round and hope to look back and appreciate the season, though it may have unpleasantries in the midst.
This morning revealed the second positive after yesterday morning. These coupled with all I am experiencing confirms that I am definitely growing a seed, though the size is debatable. One website ensures 5 weeks, the size of a sesame seed, while another says 6 - the size of a lentil. That is pretty big difference if you check them out! (that teeny tiny white speck in her hand? that is a sesame seed)
This past weekend I was so tired every night, feeling like an old lady wanting to be in bed before 8pm. I skipped out on my Sunday morning long run (oops!) but so appreciated the sleeping in!
Follow that by my bought of dizziness the last few nights coupled with an unsettled stomach and soreness when Bunny nurses and ta-da! We plunked down the over $15 (what!?! I know! so pricey, but they've really got us! what else are we supposed to do?) and risked the potential disappointment of another negative month.
But nope! Two positives, insomnia (which is how I'm miraculously finding time to blog!), queasiness, dizziness, some cramping - ah. The sensations of a first trimester are strong with this one.
But all in all these signs are AWESOME! Just confirms that I'm growing a human and all is well! These are good, even though they feel...off.
That said, we haven't told anyone! Yesterday was seriously the longest day of my life - not telling my sister, my family, my friends who I saw yesterday! I just want to shout it from the rooftops! Even my hubby wanted to tell his friends at work (and he's not an open-share kind of guy!). We are just totally stoked and totally freaking out at the same time. That feeling of what have we done!? is there for sure.
Adding another person to our family is a crazy big step - it's going to be a life-changer for our daughter. But I want her to feel that this is hers to grow into and celebrate with us. As much as I want to share about how little seed is growing with my husband, I need to share with her.
So we watched a little video yesterday about the egg being fertilized and implanting and what little seed looks like right now. We got out a sesame seed and she held it and we talked about it. I wasn't sure what all she would "get" as a child with only 30 months experience in this world, but last night as we laid in bed and she was having her milkies before we said goodnight, she starting rubbing my stomach and talking to her little sister or brother inside. She knows someone is in there, growing, and will one day come out.
Most likely before Halloween. To which she is considering whether she and little seed will be Rapunzel and Pascal, or Queen Elsa and Olaf....choices choices.
Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! What an answer to our prayers - God is so good always. And we are so loved. Always.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Thankful for freedom
Tonight as I served a meal to my family, I celebrated freedom in my heart.
I am thankful on this 4th of July, a day celebrating the freedom we have in this country.
I celebrate that I have the freedom to serve any foods I choose to my family. I celebrate that I have the freedom to purchase fruits and vegetables directly from my local farmers and have the information on how they were grown.
As we prayed to our Lord before eating, I celebrated the freedom we have to pray to and worship any god we choose.
I celebrate, as I look at my husband, that I had the freedom to choose my own spouse.
I celebrate, as I look at my sweet daughter, that I can rejoice in having a girl as my firstborn, also knowing that my husband and I can have as many children as we wish without a government telling us to limit the number of our offspring.
I celebrate that we have the right to bear arms, and the freedom to exercise that right or not.
The list can go on and on. As I write this blog, I celebrate that I have the freedom to write and express my thankfulness, without fear that I would be reprimanded for my voice.
Thank you to the men and women who have died fighting for and defending our freedom and for those who continue to do so. May we as United States citizens continue to fight for our freedom and be thankful as we live in this land of the free and home of the brave.
I celebrate that I have the freedom to serve any foods I choose to my family. I celebrate that I have the freedom to purchase fruits and vegetables directly from my local farmers and have the information on how they were grown.
As we prayed to our Lord before eating, I celebrated the freedom we have to pray to and worship any god we choose.
I celebrate, as I look at my husband, that I had the freedom to choose my own spouse.
I celebrate, as I look at my sweet daughter, that I can rejoice in having a girl as my firstborn, also knowing that my husband and I can have as many children as we wish without a government telling us to limit the number of our offspring.
I celebrate that we have the right to bear arms, and the freedom to exercise that right or not.
The list can go on and on. As I write this blog, I celebrate that I have the freedom to write and express my thankfulness, without fear that I would be reprimanded for my voice.
Thank you to the men and women who have died fighting for and defending our freedom and for those who continue to do so. May we as United States citizens continue to fight for our freedom and be thankful as we live in this land of the free and home of the brave.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Mimicking
As I toweled off after my shower this morning my daughter grabbed an oversize towel of her own and mimicked my routine of drying off. As I watched her copy my every move I found myself reflecting on the Bible verse where Paul begs other Christians to mimick his ways as he mimicked the ways of Christ. As parents my husband and I are often struck by the way that our daughter copies us exactly, by our movements down to the very intonation of our voice as we say certain words or phrases.
It blesses my heart in those moments when she asks to pray to Jesus and shouts 'Amen!'
Other times I find myself cringing as she is sassy or behaves as I do in my less-than-finer moments.
All in all I am challenged to copy the ways of my Lord and Savior, admittedly not consistently doing so. It's really the only way to parent! If we are copying Christ and following His ways then ultimately our children will copy those same things as they see us exhibiting Christ's ways.
Taking it one day at a time...
It blesses my heart in those moments when she asks to pray to Jesus and shouts 'Amen!'
Other times I find myself cringing as she is sassy or behaves as I do in my less-than-finer moments.
All in all I am challenged to copy the ways of my Lord and Savior, admittedly not consistently doing so. It's really the only way to parent! If we are copying Christ and following His ways then ultimately our children will copy those same things as they see us exhibiting Christ's ways.
Taking it one day at a time...
Monday, April 1, 2013
By Faith not Formula..
What a gift it is to be journeying with friends through the book "Desperate" by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson!
Today the Lord TOTALLY blessed me with the opportunity to relax and read an entire chapter while my sweet toddler slept on my chest :) The chapter was all about living by faith not by formula.
Talk about conviction! Whew! With so many wonderful blogs, books, Facebook pages, etc. out there I find myself 'liking' them all and following them all - so many that I admit I am overwhelmed. There are SO many great ideas on how to raise kids in the training of the Lord, what homeschooling ideas to try, etc. etc. and we (meaning I) get so wrapped up in trying to read them all and put them into practice that it's so very easy to block out the Lord's voice.
Sad to admit but I believe that's where I'm at as I write this. I've lost the sound of God's voice leading me as I tend to my family. I've been so focused on following various formulas that I am not walking by faith in the Spirit. And yet God is so very faithful. It's on those days where I feel like I'm messing up by not getting enough done, not practicing the formulas correctly that I have the best interaction with my daughter. She gets frustrated and agitated when I'm online reading blogs and trying to implement different activities (force them really), but when I stop trying and just get down to her level and listen to her, cuddle with her, give her tons and tons of kisses, dance with her, allow her to sleep on my chest instead of forcing her to nap on her own so I can have my own time...when I slow down enough to go at her pace, I find peace. I don't feel rushed. When I treat her with respect and am gentle and kind in my requests, she chooses to obey. So very opposite a reaction when I threaten her or speak to her harshly - usually when my attention is divided is when I speak to her this way. *Sigh*
Thank you Lord for second chances. And third and three-hundred! Thank you for new mercies every. single. morning. Thank you for books like this one to wake me up to Your voice! You have been leading women in motherhood and wife-hood for thousands of years without how-to books. Without blogs to follow and without Facebook pages and people to follow. Lead me by Your sweet, kind, gentle Spirit.
You formed my daughter inside of me and You alone know her every thought, her every dream, her soul. Teach me how to be her mother. How to train her and how to discipline her. How to lead her into dependence on You. Help me leave her in Your hands as she is Yours first and foremost.
Today the Lord TOTALLY blessed me with the opportunity to relax and read an entire chapter while my sweet toddler slept on my chest :) The chapter was all about living by faith not by formula.
Talk about conviction! Whew! With so many wonderful blogs, books, Facebook pages, etc. out there I find myself 'liking' them all and following them all - so many that I admit I am overwhelmed. There are SO many great ideas on how to raise kids in the training of the Lord, what homeschooling ideas to try, etc. etc. and we (meaning I) get so wrapped up in trying to read them all and put them into practice that it's so very easy to block out the Lord's voice.
Sad to admit but I believe that's where I'm at as I write this. I've lost the sound of God's voice leading me as I tend to my family. I've been so focused on following various formulas that I am not walking by faith in the Spirit. And yet God is so very faithful. It's on those days where I feel like I'm messing up by not getting enough done, not practicing the formulas correctly that I have the best interaction with my daughter. She gets frustrated and agitated when I'm online reading blogs and trying to implement different activities (force them really), but when I stop trying and just get down to her level and listen to her, cuddle with her, give her tons and tons of kisses, dance with her, allow her to sleep on my chest instead of forcing her to nap on her own so I can have my own time...when I slow down enough to go at her pace, I find peace. I don't feel rushed. When I treat her with respect and am gentle and kind in my requests, she chooses to obey. So very opposite a reaction when I threaten her or speak to her harshly - usually when my attention is divided is when I speak to her this way. *Sigh*
Thank you Lord for second chances. And third and three-hundred! Thank you for new mercies every. single. morning. Thank you for books like this one to wake me up to Your voice! You have been leading women in motherhood and wife-hood for thousands of years without how-to books. Without blogs to follow and without Facebook pages and people to follow. Lead me by Your sweet, kind, gentle Spirit.
You formed my daughter inside of me and You alone know her every thought, her every dream, her soul. Teach me how to be her mother. How to train her and how to discipline her. How to lead her into dependence on You. Help me leave her in Your hands as she is Yours first and foremost.
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